Saturday morning Grey and I went on our last picnic before becoming parents. I was so excited about it because we haven’t been on a picnic since last year. …Grey was cooperative about my plans, but not as enthusiastic about it since “we had a perfectly good kitchen table” only 300 feet away. Nonetheless, I packed up our eggs, fruit, toast, and tea in a basket with some pretty flowers, and made a nice spread on our red and white checkered blanket. I thought… surely this was going to be totally romantic.
As we were walking out to the spot I had strategically picked out so we were in the shade, and in not too harsh of lighting for pictures, of course, we heard a very loud buuuuuzzzzzzz….zzzz…ing. We both immediately started searching for them with worried eyes. “Where could they be at?”
At first I thought there may be a hive in the tree that we were planning on sitting under, but as we were looking around, there we saw it–thousands of honey bees swarming…violently above the tree NEXT to our set up. I already had everything perfectly placed so beautifully, and was not about to cancel our picnic! (…as if getting attacked by a swarm of bees is worth eating toast points on a blanket.)
We stood for about a minute, just to see where the swarm was headed before we made a move. They seemed to be flying away from us…kind of. So we sat down on our blanket both keeping one eye on the tree next to us (slightly terrified,) while we ate our breakfast– which was lovely by the way. Cinnamon raisin toast, eggs, whole-wheat English muffins and slimy bananas.
Yes. I said it. Bananas that were so slimy a mucus-like string hung from them when we picked them up with a spoon, mixed with blueberries. (Sorry about that visualization…it’s really the only way to describe it.) Earlier in the kitchen when I was tossing the fruit, I thought a little teaspoon of sugar would give these a delicious sweet glaze (you know like berries?!) Wrong! Do NOT sprinkle sliced bananas with sugar and toss with washed blueberries! Big mistake and totally not appetizing. …but the rest of breakfast really was quite nice..once you got past the mucus. …and the flies.
We were fighting off the flies the entire time. Have I mentioned flies are one of Grey’s greatest annoyances? He doesn’t ask many questions about God’s design, but the inclusion of flies on this earth is one of them. I was trying to be as comforting as possible about the whole situation, by pointing out that “flies usually are part of picnics…you know” (Grey casually had the look in his eye as if telling me this is exactly why he is not a huge fan of picnics.)
Then, he noted that “there probably wouldn’t be so many flies if we were not smack dab in the middle of a bunch of horse manure.”
…That’s when it hit me. We really were in the middle of a bunch of horse crap.
I thought about it for about oh…. .025 seconds before bursting out in hysterical laughter. I laughed so hard at the picture of what we were doing, and could not stop laughing. Grey then was then laughing at me laughing because this picnic was absolutely a disaster. Between the swarm of bees, slimy bananas, flies, and typical picnic ants all plotted right in the middle of a giant heap of horse manure, this was not exactly the romantic breakfast picnic I had in mind.This picture makes me laugh. Our monstrosity of picnic all captured into one snapshot (mostly on Grey’s face). Life is never “perfect,” but it’s good for a couple of laughs sometimes.
Hope your day is perfectly un-perfect.
P.S. My wonderful husband is so patient with all of my girly “romantic” requests. I’ll probably be waiting until he plans our next picnic 😉