Sometimes I get overwhelmed that another human being is going to come out of my body….I mean think about it (!?!?!?) it’s another person people!
I can’t believe that this little one is going to be half me and half my favorite person on this earth, Grey.
…and considering that, I’m not quite sure I am able to grasp how much I will actually love our new son or daughter until he or she arrives.
…and yes, sometimes, I get scared. Will the baby be okay? I know childbirth is going to hurt, but HOW MUCH will it really? **Don’t answer that question! ** How much will this affect our relationship? No matter how many books or articles I read, or advice I listen to from others, I don’t think I will ever be be prepared without actually becoming a mother first.
Which brings me to a very peculiar thought. Signing up for this motherhood thing, is like boarding a train (to who knows where)…with a blindfold on.
…and as the days progress I am becoming increasingly aware that at some point (I don’t know…somewhere around July 11th) I will be shoved off and the blindfold removed.
Only then, when I look into the face of our son or daughter, and bring him her home (to never get any sleep, change diapers, and do all the other stuff people have been telling me is going to happen,) will I be able to fully understand how life changing it is to have a baby…or be even more confused than ever (I’m not even sure of that now.) The only thing that I am certain of is the Lord most certainly has perfect timing and reveals passages like this:
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” ~Matthew 6:25-27,34
…just when I need them. Whenever the crazy person in my head pipes up taunting me by asking: “what about this?and this? and this? and that!” adding to an unending list of “needs-to-get-done-before-baby-gets-here,” I can rest in the Lord’s promise that He will provide for our every need.
He clearly calls us not to be concerned about boarding a train, not exactly knowing where we are going, as long as we trust in Him and His promise, “each day has enough trouble of it’s own” (Matthew 6:34). There is not a book, blog, forum, family chit-chat time, video, etc. that could take the place of God’s word. I can rest that He will soothe any of my fear or discomfort. All I have to do is not worry, and take one day at a time.